Who I Am Inside

As usuall after i have studied at my campus, i stand in front of the studio photo to wait my partner. I look around me, there are some people who take some pictures, in other side there are some models pose in front of camera, and i still stand in front of the studio. The clock shows 4 p.m, but i am not see her yet. I just keep my mood to wait her. Then, i look a lady who brings make up’s bag. She is smilling at me and asking me to enter the studio. Yes, she is my partner, Rosie. She always make up me before i am starting to do my job. Almost all of people in this studio knows me well. Usually they call me Sarah. Yes, this is my job. I am one of the model in this studio. I do love this job. Until this day i always enjoy do this work.

Day by day, i keep do this job well. Jimmy as my photographer appreciate my work greatly. He asks me to pose again and again. I look at my watch, it shows 8 p.m. It means i have to go home. My mother ordered me to go home faster, because she need me to help her.
“Sorry Jim, i have an appointment with my mother now” i said.
“Please, your work is uncomplate now. You have to finish your job first!” Jimmy reply.
“I will finish all of them yesterday Jim” with tiring face i said that to Jimmy.

I leave him although he is forcing me back to work. It’s different like usual that i always give smile and greeting to all of people in this place before going home. Today I feel something strange in my self. I just keep leaving floor by floor in this studio. Ignore all people who look at my tired face. On the way, i am looking around there are some teenagers like me, they assemble with their friends happly. I am a teenager, but can i to be like them? do i feel happy to assmble with my friends? No, i do not have spare times to go outside with my friends.

Oh God, how can i have spare times to do some things crazy with my friends if i also do not have any time with my family? I am crying emotionally, but i already arrived at my home. I try to remove my tears. I open the door, and turn on the lamp. “Oke, all of people already sleep now, also my mother. So, it means that my mother did not need me anymore? That’s all my mistake, my job distrubs my right. I’m tired with my job. I’m tired with all of make up at my face. I’m tired to give fake smile, fake face, all of in modelling just fake from me. I’m tried!”

I’m crying in the silent room, i look my reflection at the mirror.
“Shows me who i am inside please!” with some teras in my cheeks, i’m trying to remove my make up.
“Yes, it distrubs me. Better like that. An ordinary girl, just to be an ordinary girl who always beside all of people that need me. I prefer to be like that.”